New year, new you – right? Starting a new year can feel invigorating and refreshing and brings with it the temptation to hit reset on the parts of life that are not entirely satisfying. Who doesn’t want to set positive intentions, make healthy changes, and approach the New Year with a sense of hope? At the same time, resolutions that crop up at the beginning of a new year are difficult to maintain. It can become tiring or tedious to hold strict rules, and in some cases, a resolution that feels inspiring in January can feel like a burden a few months later.
From a psychological perspective, change is tough to maintain. In fact, many resolutions can intensify feelings of anxiety, depression, or insecurity when a person cannot stick to them. Creating a resolution can be a trap that sets a person up for failure. Most people give up on their New Year’s resolutions for a number of reasons – but that doesn’t mean that there is no value in setting positive intentions for a new year.
For children and teens, resolution season can feel like a blur of messages from pop culture and social media telling kids to look a certain way and to achieve a version of success that may be unrealistic for most people. Try making resolutions together rather than exposing kids to the internet’s version of intention-setting for the new year. Helping kids identify one or two goals that matter to them can help them feel a sense of purpose and pride over time as their goals come to life.
Here are some ways to approach 2022 resolutions that put mental health and balance first for adults and the young people in your life:
- Pick a specific resolution. Telling yourself that you want to “lose weight,” “be healthier,” or make new friends” are goals that would feel difficult for anyone to commit to. When you can’t measure your progress on a goal, chances are, you won’t make progress. Instead, commit to a certain amount of time spent exercising each week or a nightly bedtime to ensure that you’re getting healthy amounts of sleep. Young children, in particular, need extremely clear goals – and can look at daily habits as goals that they can aspire to take on with more autonomy, such as cleaning up after themselves, brushing their teeth, or eating a new vegetable every month.
- Understand your relationship to habits. We all have habits – from our food and beverage choices to the first thing we do when we return home from a long day to the amount of time we spend with screens. Forming new habits takes work – however, the power of positive habits can be life-changing. Start by practicing something every day for just a couple of minutes. If you can keep this up for at least 21 days, chances are, you can make the habit stick. If not, don’t be discouraged – things that block a person from their desired habit take time to deal with. Give yourself the time and attention you need to understand what is preventing you from integrating positive habits and how you can make space to try new things.
- Commit to a gratitude practice. If setting a long-term goal feels overwhelming, chances are, it also might act as a trigger for feelings of inadequacy or anxiety. As every gym and health food store around will remind you, the New Year is often a time for mass body-shaming disguised as “building healthy habits.” Anyone with body image issues – particularly women, teenage girls, and young people with a pattern of self-harm or disordered eating – can feel targeted by messages encouraging people to trim their waistlines in the New Year. While healthy habits are always a positive focus area, it is worth being particularly sensitive with these groups around resolution season. If body image issues affect you or someone close to you, choose a gratitude practice instead. Gratitude is a powerful tool and a quick and easy thing to integrate into daily life. Start by keeping a notebook or mental note of things you are grateful for on a daily basis. Over time, turn to gratitude when you’re tempted to compare yourself to another person or replace negative self-talk with thoughts of thankfulness.
- Carve out time to unplug. For adults and children alike, screen time has taken over our lives. Whether or not your 2022 intentions involve adjusting how you use smartphones and computers, it is worth making a few simple moments to be offline, perhaps during dinnertime or in the hour leading up to bedtime. Instead, use your evenings doing activities that promote sleep, like enjoying a book, stretching, or snuggling with pets or family members. Many smartphones give you options to turn off notifications during the evening and throughout the night so that you and your family members are not tempted to catch up on messages and other pings during your daily wind down.
- Be clear about your game plan. As mentioned, resolutions need to be specific, and they need to involve habits that you can comfortably bring into your day-to-day life. In addition, plotting your resolution over the coming year will help you understand when you are and are not making healthy progress. This does not mean that you need to schedule every hour of your time – instead, think of small wins you or your children can make that are related to your broader goal. Better yet, find ways to make your goals complement one another’s. If you want to spend more time outside and your child wants to make the soccer team, surely you can find creative ways to work toward both resolutions at the same time.
- Celebrate small and big successes – and be kind to yourself. Once you’ve had positive conversations with your family members about their New Year’s resolutions, you can find ways to reward one another when you follow through. These can be simple boosts like a high five or verbal praise or something you celebrate with a special reward, treat, or gift. On the other hand, when a resolution falls by the wayside, don’t be too hard on yourself and give kids some leeway. Sometimes, no matter how good our intentions are, life gets in the way. It’s important to cultivate resilience, forgiveness, and a sense of humor around the things that go wrong. A resolution should never be an excuse for bullying, scolding, or punishment.
At Maryvale, we consider a child’s entire family when providing mental health support to ensure that their whole experience is as healthy, positive, and nurturing as possible. We believe in creating support networks for children, teens, and families dealing with anxiety and mental health disorders. Learn more about how we provide holistic care to those who need it most.
