Cyberbullying is a sneaky, complex form of harassment that can be difficult for adults to spot and even more difficult for children to navigate. Cyberbullying occurs when someone willfully inflicts harm through the use of computers, cell phones, or other devices. This behavior is pre-planned and deliberate; it is not an attempt to be funny, and it does not occur by accident. Cyberbullies tend to repeat their harm-inducing behaviors; they are not typically isolated incidents. Cyberbullying can often be disguised as a form of communication between young people. After all, texting and social media are commonly used tools by younger generations and are integrated into everyday activities. However, when an offender repeatedly attempts to harass, embarrass, or threaten another person through aggressive messages, tweets, posts, or emails, there is no doubt that they are cyberbullying.
According to the CDC, cyberbullying affects 15.5% of high school students – through harmful online behaviors can set in at a much earlier age. About 30% of kids between 12 and 17 have experienced some form of repeated cyberbullying. This places them among the tens of thousands of children afraid of socializing and going to school because they face bullying. Cyberbullying is more likely to affect girls and LGBTQ youth, who already face increased risks in their peer groups.
The Consequences of Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying can lead to lasting problems. A victim of cyberbullying might experience low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and difficulty finding a comfortable social rhythm. It is worth noting that the repetitive nature of bullying magnifies its impact. A child or teen’s response to bullying can take far longer to understand and cope with than the bullying itself.
When a young person is bullied online, they might feel afraid or devalued, which can cause discomfort in social situations or a lack of confidence sharing their perspective among friends, family, or in the classroom. Victims of cyberbullying might feel excessively tired and might feel physical anxiety symptoms such as stomach pain and headaches. In extreme cases, cyberbullying can lead to suicide.
Because cyberbullying happens via messaging or social media, it can be easy – even tempting - for both the bully and the victim to conceal what is happening. When these incidents happen in secret, victims of bullying can become confused about what is happening to them and can question the validity of their feelings. Perhaps a bully alternates between being funny and sending harmful or aggressive messages, or a victim receives harmful messages from more than one person. When a young person is disoriented, they are will likely struggle to report cyberbullies or seek out the help they need.
What To Do About Cyberbullying
Kids and teens dealing with a cyberbully should seek support from their parents, teachers, or any trusted adult. Collecting evidence of what is happening and reporting the behavior is a reliable way to stop it from happening. Cyberbullies need to be made aware that their behavior is unacceptable. If a person is being bullied on a social media platform like Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, they can block the person who is bullying them and report them to the platform’s moderators. It is vital to report bullying wherever it happens – even if the victim is a friend, a classmate, or a neighbor. Bullying is a behavior that repeats and can get worse with time. When a cyberbully is not stopped, they might perceive weakness or fear and become even more aggressive. This is why it is critical to report bullying as soon as possible.
There are ways to be proactive with kids around healthy internet usage and social communication for parents and adults. By speaking openly about who their children are friends with, how they stay in touch, and what they talk about, parents can open the door to encourage children to share their experiences, positive and negative. Parents should know their children’s friends and whether they have any social concerns at school and in the neighborhood. For shy or stubborn children who might be more private about their internet usage and social life, try asking open-ended questions and leading with ideas or topics that you know your child will respond to. If you become aware of cyberbullying, help your child navigate the feelings while setting safe social media and internet usage parameters. Involve teachers or school counselors when possible. The more adults know about what’s happening between children, the more they can protect those who are vulnerable and restore peace.
How To Deal With Cyberbullies
It can be difficult to know how to respond in a moment of heightened emotion or harmful communication. Here are a few in-the-moment tips for dealing with cyberbullies:
- Ignore them. A desire for dominance often fuels cyberbullies’ aggression. By signing out of a social media platform, blocking their phone number, or disengaging with their messages, victims can demonstrate that they are not afraid by not yielding to a harmful power dynamic. The cyberbully will probably get bored, and the victim will emerge more resilient.
- Don’t respond. One of the reasons cyberbullying is so pervasive is the speed of digital communications. When a bully sends a cruel or embarrassing message, it is natural to want to respond defensively. In some cases, standing up to a bully can be helpful – however, in most cases, engaging with a bully will only make matters worse. Walk away and resist the impulse to fire back a response or give the bully your attention.
- Protect yourself online. Social media platforms and most smartphone carriers will give you options to report and block a person. It is also wise to ensure that you have safe passwords and do not share any personal photos, videos, or messages that you don’t want to share with your social networks.
- Find support. Friends, trusted adults, and therapists can help you navigate the effects of bullying. If you or someone close to you has been bullied online, remember – you are not alone. Speak up about what is going on and lean on the people you trust to get you the care you need.
