Culture often seems bent on convincing us that the holidays are like the most wonderful time of the year – but for many people, Christmas and everything associated with it triggers more stress than joy. Does this sound familiar to you? You aren’t alone – as it turns out, this season brings stress to a climax and can cause mental health disorders to flare up. According to a 2018 study, 88% of Americans feel that the holiday season is the most stressful time of year. Stressors might include feeling pressed for time, having difficulty spending money on holiday luxuries, or feeling pressured to give and receive gifts. Additional causes for stress abound – issues such as family loss, abusive relationships, household separations, meeting family members’ expectations, loneliness, and cost-prohibitive activities can all contribute to holiday stress.
Holiday stress can affect anyone – even children. In fact, kids are particularly prone to feelings of expectation and anticipation around the holidays in preparation for social gatherings, special family events, and gift-giving. For any child whose domestic situation is imperfect, the holidays can feel like a trap. This is especially true for people with fragile mental health who lack financial and community support and those who are grieving the loss of a close loved one.
Here are some ways to help manage stress for you and your loved ones this holiday season:
- Start by acknowledging that the holidays come with some stress. What other time of year has people running around to find gifts for everyone on their list, hosting and attending multiple parties, and decorating trees inside our homes? If you can identify the extra things you’re doing and name the stress that is associated with them, you might find them less overwhelming or consuming.
- Honor what matters most. Stay close to your spiritual practices and prioritize prayer this Christmas. The more you make space for reflection, the more likely you are to practice self-care.
- Do what you can to prevent stressful situations. A bit of planning goes a long way in alleviating stress of any kind. During the holidays, it becomes extra important to keep track of your time, the energy you put into different projects and events, and where or when you might be exposed to any stress triggers. Instead of saying “yes” to every invitation, prioritize events that you and your family truly feel excited to attend. Write out a plan on a notepad or sheet of paper to get a clear sense of everything you do and don’t need to do, and then see if there is anything you can postpone or skip. For children, it is helpful to have a sense of their holiday schedule and anything that is expected of them while they are out of school. The more children know ahead of time, the better equipped they are to handle atypical social situations.
- Preserve your routines. This is of particular importance for children, who need structure to thrive. With school out for a few weeks, be sure to find ways to create predictable, comfortable routines that shape good habits and a healthy sense of motivation. Try to stick to bedtimes and waking times, eat meals at regular hours, and find ways to stay active whenever possible.
- Prepare your family for social events. Give yourself and your family permission to pace yourself, and keep in mind that young children might find gatherings with new people overwhelming. Prepare your child for events by telling them ahead of time who will be there, what they can look forward to at the event, and why it is special.
- Make plenty of time for rest. The excitement of the holidays can be draining and can confuse children or make them feel like they are not tired. Children need 8-10 hours of sleep per night. Getting a good night’s sleep is a great way to balance your family’s energy and prevent young children from having tantrums or meltdowns. Plus, decent sleep can help prevent mental health breakdowns for people of all ages.
- Make healthy choices. The holidays are a time when everyone’s diet tends to expand to account for extra sugar, treats, decadent meals, and alcohol. Parents and other adults can set a healthy example to young people by being mindful of how much they eat and balancing rich meals with healthy foods. Whole grains, vegetables, and fresh fruit can help stabilize how a person feels overall – including their mood. Exercise is another excellent way to boost your mood. Enjoy hikes, bike rides, or walks with your family. Avoid excess alcohol, and demonstrate what moderation looks like to teens and young adults. Alcohol is often easy to come by during the holidays, creating risks for people with substance use issues, anxiety, or depression.
- Carve out time to feel your feelings. For some people, no amount of planning can alleviate the depression associated with the holidays. Our culture tends to amplify the Christmas season as a time of revelry, extravagance, and connectedness. For those who are coping with a mental health disorder or substance use disorder, images of happy families and friends lavishing one another with food, alcohol, and gifts can trigger breakdowns. If someone you know is susceptible to depression, anxiety, or substance use, make yourself available to them to de-stigmatize their experience of the holidays and make space for new traditions.
- If you are spending the holidays with a loved one who suffers from a known mental health issue, try to anticipate their stress and make it clear to them that their needs come first. It is perfectly alright to say no to holiday event invitations or to treat holidays like any other day of the year if that helps keep a person stable and comfortable. If you know someone who suffers from a mental health disorder, you can offer much-needed holiday support by spending time with them, listening to them, or offering to do something fun together.
If you or someone you know needs professional support to cope with this challenging time, Maryvale can help. During the holidays and every day, we believe in creating support networks for children, teens, and families facing distress, grief, mental health disorders, or substance use issues. Learn more about how we provide holistic care to those who need it most.
