Do you experience a blend of joyful anticipation and dread around the holidays? If the season feels complicated to you, or if you feel stressed, anxious, and depleted all December, you aren’t alone. While it may not be talked about as often as gift-buying or attending holiday parties, it is essential for families to prioritize mental health to make this time as positive and enjoyable as possible.
As the old saying goes, you have to care for yourself before you can provide authentic care to others. Parents are responsible for taking measures to protect their mental health and wellness first to proactively alleviate stress and overwhelm for their children. While the holiday season will throw a bunch of opportunities your way, and it may be tempting to fill your schedule, try to stick to a daily routine as much as possible, especially for children. Consistency provides a sense of stability and reduces anxiety during the holiday chaos. It is crucial to establish boundaries, both for yourself and your children. Don’t overcommit yourself to activities, and be clear about expectations and limitations regarding holiday activities, treats, and screen time.
Boundary setting applies to money as financial stress can be a significant concern during the holidays. Create a budget for gifts and activities and involve your children in discussions about budgeting, spending, and the value of money.
Celebrate and create family traditions that hold meaning for you and your children. These traditions can create a sense of belonging and continuity, which is reassuring. Not all traditions are fun for everyone, especially as tastes change and children grow into their identities. Be open and honest when you communicate with your family members. Share your feelings – good and bad – whenever possible, and be an active listener when they share their experiences.
Perhaps most critical of all, be a role model for healthy self-care. Show children how you take healthy habits seriously, such as getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in relaxation techniques. Cut down on screen time, a known detractor of positive feelings, and keep yourself active and physically aligned. Make time to take walks, exercise, and enjoy some fresh air. Prepare healthy, balanced food at home and be conscious of the amount of sugar, alcohol, and decadent meals you consume at holiday events. In general, it helps you and your children to be flexible and adaptable. Sometimes, things don’t go as planned during the holidays. Embrace imperfections and focus on the positive aspects of the season.
Society often sets high expectations for holiday happiness. Those who can’t meet these expectations may feel inadequate, leading to anxiety and depression. Parents should be aware of several possible factors that can contribute to the holiday blues as they manage their own feelings and work to create the best possible experience for their children. Holiday triggers that might impact you include:
- Increased Stress. The holidays bring additional stress due to the expectations of gift-giving, decorating, meal preparation, travel, and social obligations. The pressure to create a perfect holiday experience can be overwhelming. Rather than trying to do it all, be clear and intentional about the ways you want to engage in holiday festivities.
- Grief and Loss. Have you experienced the loss of a loved one? Whether the loss happened recently or years ago, grief can be intense during the holidays. Feeling a loved one’s absence can be a beautiful, though painful, way to keep their memory alive and pay tribute to them. If you or your family has lost someone close, be sure to give yourself and your children grace, as feelings can swing quickly during this hectic time.
- Financial Strain. Holiday spending on gifts, decorations, and travel can lead to financial stress. Trying to maintain a budget while meeting expectations can trigger anxiety and depression.
- Loneliness and Isolation. The holidays can be a stark reminder of strained relationships and family differences. It is not uncommon to feel isolated and lonely during the holidays, and it is okay to release the pressure of others’ expectations. People may feel pressured to appear happy and content during the holidays, even when struggling with depression or anxiety. This facade can worsen feelings of isolation and despair. The prevalence of social media can lead to increased social comparison, where people compare their holiday experiences and gifts to those of others. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and envy, especially in children and teenagers.
- Family Conflict. The holiday season can bring family trouble to the forefront. Gathering with family members, especially those with unresolved issues, can be emotionally taxing. Many holiday events involve family gatherings and interactions, which can be stressful for people with anxiety. The fear of judgment, awkward small talk, or crowded events can trigger fearfulness and avoidance.
- Overindulgence. Who doesn’t love a big meal with friends and family? In truth, plenty of people have good reasons to dread overeating and drinking. The availability of rich, unhealthy foods and alcohol during the holidays can lead to overindulgence. Poor nutrition and excessive drinking can negatively affect mental health. The presence of alcohol can also trigger those with substance use issues, whose needs should be prioritized in group settings.
- Body Image Issues. Culture’s focus on holiday weight gain and New Year’s resolutions can exacerbate body image concerns, leading to a spiral of negativity and anxiety, particularly among those with eating disorders.
Recognizing these triggers and being mindful of your mental health during the holiday season is essential. Remember that it’s okay to ask for help and prioritize self-care during this stressful time and that you can encourage your children to follow your lead when caring for your emotional wellness. Each child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Pay attention to your child’s individual needs and tailor your support accordingly. Ultimately, the goal is to create a warm, loving, and stress-reduced holiday environment that fosters happy memories for the entire family.
At Maryvale, we approach mental health by considering a person’s whole experience, and we make their family an active part of their healing journey. If holiday stresses reach a high point and you need professional support to cope with the chaos of the season, our team of mental health practitioners and community partners is here to support you.
